“Just Remember, it’s not a lie…if you believe it”
Do you remember that classic Seinfield quote? It’s something that we unknowingly do daily in our lives.
When working our jobs and/or raising kids, we brainwash ourselves into thinking that there is never enough time to do anything. We will choose to complain instead of making time available.
We will make up every excuse in the book as to why our lives are the way they are instead of actually doing something about it.
The #1 excuse people have for not being in shape is that they do not have enough time.
Simply taking the time to make changes in our diet or exercise plan…….
NOOO, you’re not going down that path today!
It’s YOU again! Why don’t you just let me finish my thought…
STOP IT!! It’s time for me to take control over your stupid blog again
Not again… get away from my keyboard….
<fighting noises>
Ahhhh, IT’S SO good TO BE BACK in the house!
Mr. Travel Fitness aka MicVinny aka the chump is currently locked away in a closet so that I can finally talk to you again.
If this is the first time reading this blog, let me say that you’re not crazy.
What just happen was that I finally got control over this blog post again!
You can call me Bubba. I’m the version of Mr. Travel Fitness that he’s been trying to hide away for years. I’m the result of all those skipped workouts and binges.
I’m the result of him getting a little too happy during Thanksgiving!
Mr. Travel Fitness always thinks he can leave me behind, but i’m always in the dark waiting for him to fall!
HAHAhahaha
It appears that he was going to attempt to shame folks for not going to the gym and working out. Or for them just being human and not always having the time to be “perfect.”
There’s nothing wrong with some pizza every night! The more pepperoni the better I always say!
Join me in having some fun analyzing Mr. Travel Fitness’ 8 Undeniable Signs That You’re Just Lazy & Unhealthy. This should be fun!
You spend more hours watching TV in a day than you spend working out for the week.
There’s nothing wrong with watching TV. Does he not realize the amount of TV shows that are on!
We are living in a new golden age of television. We have cable TV, premium channels, Netflix, Hulu, video on demand, Amazon, etc.…The choices are endless!!
Doesn’t he realize that we must watch it all!
If we want to be in the coolest social conversations we have to know what’s going on in ALL these TV shows. The only way to do that is by binge watching.
To binge we MUST sit on our behinds for 5 plus hours. That’s non-negotiable! Can we not be entertained! Who needs a workout when there’s more important stuff on TV.
The only time you’re outside is when you walk from your home to your car
Being outside is overrated. Who wants to hear the stupid birds chirp. Mankind was made to be indoors, if not we would have not invented HVAC systems to keep us warm in the colder months and cool during the hot months.
There’s no need to know our neighbors anymore. If there’s yard work to do, we can always just hire someone to take care of it. We work hard enough at our jobs. Why waste more time by going outside.
I’m going to avoid being outside until it’s warm again.
All your Fall/Winter clothes from last year are too small
Isn’t this one completely stupid. Of course last year’s clothes are going to be small. We’ve gotten ripped!
My muscles are HUGE now! My waist is bigger due to all that 6 pack in my abdominal area. I’m just too much man for those old clothes.
For others out there, I’m sure your clothes don’t fit because of that growth spurt you underwent. Its common for folks to go through growth spurts as they age.
We could always use some new clothes right? We have to keep up with the latest fashions so change is inevitable. Mr. Travel Fitness was so wrong about this!
You have snacks for everything
Again..what is this dude talking about?
He doesn’t understand that when watching football, you must have some potato chips! While watching a good movie, it’s necessary to have that large tub of popcorn with the natural butter.
And if i’m eating chips and popcorn, who doesn’t wash it down with a good soda pop right.
When eating my lunch I have to have me some Little Debbie snack cakes. Does he not realize that those snack cakes are what makes lunches special? I don’t care if I am an adult, their must be a sweet snack in that lunch box!
I use to be told that snacks would ruin my dinner, but now that i’m old it’s ok to have cookies when we get home from work. That just makes us appreciate the dinner even more. Snacks are awesome and necessary to survive a tough day!
You have sugar with a side of breakfast in the morning
Cute. Real cute.
I just want to slap that guy in the mouth some times.
He has the nerve to put down the daily breakfast routine. I ate some oatmeal yesterday so I bet he feels like an idiot now for saying that.
You know oatmeal is healthy right? It has all that good fiber and complex carbs that the commercials talk about. I even added some raisins to it so I could get some fruit.
That was a great healthy breakfast!
I felt so proud of myself that I only added 5 tablespoons of brown sugar instead of the normal 6. I washed it down with a nice cup of coffee from Starbucks.
Well it was a more like a frappuccino but I made sure there was a vegetable in it …..by getting the pumpkin spice version.
You eat less than a handful of vegetables a day
Veggie what? I just told him I had some veggies in my pumpkin spiced frappuccino. That’s a full days servings right there!
Not to mention the fact that I eat ketchup with my french fries. Two more quality vegetable sources right there. Then you can’t forget about the lettuce and tomato slice on the burger.
That’s a handful right there is it not? That whole burger fitted in my hand!
You think diet soda is healthy
You can’t be expected to go all day without drinking something sweet right? That’s blasphemy!
We should be given large amount of kudos points for even daring to drink something with “diet” in its name. I personally am a fan of the Zero drinks. You know Coke Zero, Pepsi Zero.
Between those and the diet sodas, there’s ZERO calories in those drinks! Zero calories is zero calories. We’re being healthy!
All the healthy folks drink diet sodas more than they do water. Mr. Travel Fitness needs to get up with the times. Water is for suckers and wannabe bodybuilders!
You spend more time looking for a closer parking spot up instead of just walking to the store
Who’s going to park their car at the first parking spot and walk to the store? You never see that so what’s this dude talking about? You better believe i’m going to find the closest spot to the store as possible.
Not only in that first row, but i’m going to circle that entire sparking lot to find that ideal close spot. Even if it takes five minutes because I earned that parking spot by looking so diligently.
Sure I could have parked and walked in the store by than but that’s not the point. My car deserves to be parked up front so I can be seen. I’m going to have a lot of bags and don’t need to do any extra work to put that in my car. No thank you!
—————-
So that was Mr Travel Fitness’ list of items that was supposed to make us feel ashamed, lazy and unhealthy. I don’t feel any of those things!
As a matter of fact, while he’s locked in that closet I think I’m about to make a run to Dunkin Donuts for a snack. When I say run of course I mean i’m driving my car.
Who walks a quarter of a mile for a doughnut? Only losers like Mr. Travel Fitness!
He should be back next week….(if he can pick that closet lock hahahahaha)
Bubba out!
